


Dangerous Dancer

by SageofSpice



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Comedy, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 10:58:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1896504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageofSpice/pseuds/SageofSpice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse and his pals check out a new strip club and Jesse encounters someone he never thought he'd ever see again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dangerous Dancer

Holes were being burnt through the pockets of his baggy jeans that bulged with fat stacks of cash freshly plundered from their latest sales. Captain Cook had never felt more like a proper pirate than he did right now, whooping and hollering with his crew as they sailed down the damp, dark streets that glittered brightly with the light of the cool blue neon reflected from the buildings surrounding them. First mate Combo drummed on the dashboard in the passenger seat while Skinny Pete and Badger warmed up their dance moves in the back. The nights when their Captain didn't need any drugs to help him feel this high were few and far between. The blue of his eyes was crystal clear tonight.

“Man, I just can't wait to be in the middle of all'a that high class ass!” Combo cried, fisting his hands above his head in triumph. Both sorts of booty were on the boys' minds tonight – The kind that they had in their hands right now and the kind that they soon would. Racing through every yellow light, Jesse quickly cruised his 1982 Chevrolet Monte Carlo through the slick city roads. He wasn't settling for any of the usual clubs tonight. They drove through downtown, where the intensely green light of the enormous Wells Fargo building on the skyline guided them onward. 

“Yo! Someday, we'll have a tower of cash that huge,” Jesse Pinkman enthusiastically promised his pals. Everyone in the car laughed, knowing his hyperbole was insane, but they all smiled enormously anyway as they stared out at that idol of wealth because they knew that the sentiment itself was sincere as hell. 

As they flew through the city, Jesse's backseat buddies nearly rolled the car as they both exclaimed and thumped against the back of the driver's seat in tandem. They had sailed right past all of their usual dives!

“What the fuck, man? Where are you taking us?” they teased, curiously leaning forward between the front seats to get a better look at where they were headed. 

“Chill out, yo – I just wanted to go someplace new tonight, you know? Make it special,” Jesse assured them. They continued past Nob Hill along Central Avenue until they were way out past all of the other bars downtown before Jesse finally turned into a parking lot and stopped the car. 

The buzz in the car was flickering out but Jesse's blazed as bright as ever now that they had arrived. He exploded out of the car with the other doors reluctantly thunking shut in his wake. 

“Sidewinders? Isn't this, like, a gay cowboy bar or some shit?” Skinny Pete sneered, dragging his feet as they approached the entrance while Jesse danced ahead of them. Badger shook his head, somewhat more optimistic about this foray into unknown territory. “Nah bro, not anymore. It's got a new manager and new music and all kinds of people hang out here now. I heard they even limit the two-stepping to only three hours on Fridays,” Badger said. “I don't care what they do, man, as long as they give me my drinks and my titties, I'm a happy man,” Combo declared, entering the bar right behind Jesse before the door even closed. 

They gathered at a table not too far from the stage after buying their first round of drinks. Jesse giggled and shook his head as he drank his beer while his friends soon became engaged in a heated discussion about exactly how many aliens Captain Kirk had or had not actually slept with during his 5 year mission. 

 

“Yo, Jesse; Is Captain Cook a joke on Captain Hook or Captain Kirk?” Badger asked, interrupting his own argument to sort out his sudden confusion. As soon as he'd asked, the ambient music that had been playing in the bar was replaced with the deep, earnest base and increased volume of a selected track. Jesse had to yell for his answer to be heard from only a few feet away.

“Hook, obviously! Three of the letters are the same! Yo, I never even watched Star Trek! God, you are such an idiot!” Jesse replied incredulously, his mouth agape until Badger slapped a palm to his own forehead with a goofy grin. Jesse shook his head and smiled back, then swept his tongue across his lips before taking another swig of his beer. 

“But wait – Wasn't there like an actual Captain Cook? He made a bunch of maps and shit?” Skinny Pete mumbled, scratching his head and rumpling his beanie in the process. Badger and Jesse blinked at him blankly and he quickly stopped trying to remember stuff from history class. 

“Oh shit, dog – No! But look! Here comes Captain Underpants to save the day!” Combo squealed, shaking with barely contained laughter as a middle aged man wearing dark sunglasses strode onstage. He had one hand on the brim of his hat and was hiding behind it, looking almost shy as he entered the spotlight. Jesse gazes was immediately drawn to the slightly exposed tease of underwear that was visible through the man's open, but still belted, slacks. Everything he wore was black save for that small sliver of pure white that was rocking side to side with every step he took toward center stage. Jesse sat perfectly still, captivated. His beer bottle rested lightly on his lower lip, completely forgotten. The man wrapped one hand around the silver pole that seemed to flow like mercury under the shifting stage lights and began to dance.

He wasn't a great dancer. He was barely even good but he instantly displayed a sort of stubborn confidence that Jesse found frighteningly charming. The blunt, forceful movements of his body had a unique style of deliberate sass to them that gave Jesse goosebumps. It wasn't until the performer turned away toward the other side of the audience that Jesse finally snapped out of his daze. Laughing hysterically, Combo leaned in and remarked that it looked like the old man was so senile that he had just forgotten to zip up his pants. Jesse chuckled weakly and agreed, “Yeah. What a dork.” He quickly took a swig of his beer to wet his mouth which had gotten dry from hanging open for so long.

When he dared to look back up again, the man was halfway through unbuttoning his shirt. One hand was sliding around under the fabric, stroking the hair on his chest while he finished opening up his shirt with the other. It fell open at his sides and he stroked down his exposed belly. Jesse's entire crew cringed and howled, averting their eyes from the guys' paunch. Jesse felt slightly squeamish too but he couldn't bear to tear his eyes away from the sight. It seemed like the dancer was staring at Jesse way more than any of the other patrons too. The extra attention he was giving him was starting to make Jesse hard. He was deeply thankful for the darkness of the room and the bagginess of his own pants. His friends would never let him live this down if they found out that he - 

“Ooo, he likes you! Dude! You better give him some bills! Bitches love bills!” Badger teased after noticing how much the two had been staring at each other. He aggressively tickled Jesse's ribs and then made a grab for some of the money that was in Jesse's pockets. Jesse's beer sloshed as he frantically wrestled his friend's hands away from his lap with panicky spastic shoves until Badger finally backed off, cackling.

“Cut it out! Oh my god!” Jesse cried, blushing brightly. He did his best to retreat into the warm darkness of his hoodie so he could hide away in there forever but his bright blue eyes still peeked out at the stage with glistening interest.

The dancer's shirt was completely off now. The squishy layer of fat that he possessed only made him appear that much softer to touch. Jesse hugged himself and tightened his grip around the neck of his beer bottle. The muscles in the man's arms flexed as he leveraged his body against the pole for several dips. Jesse worried his lower lip with his teeth when he suddenly noticed that there was a calculator watch strapped to the man's wrist. Something bothersome about that watch started to nag at him, but then Jesse's eyes followed the flow of the man's fuzzy forearm back over to his bare torso where he was now beginning to unbuckle his belt and Jesse quickly disregarded the vaguely distracting sense of deja vu that had come over him. 

The dancer's black slacks dropped to the floor. Several members of the crowd cheered and whisted to finally see that bright white underwear be revealed. Jesse bit down on the mouth of his bottle to keep himself quiet. Using the pole to help keep his balance as he bent down, the man removed his pants from his legs and then rose back up, quickly flinging them back over his shoulder. The pants soared through the air in a billowy arc behind him. Now was when he really started to groove.

Jesse's fascination with the performer had not gone unnoticed by his snickering friends. They all agreed to commit themselves to putting Jesse through as much embarrassment as possible tonight. All at once, the three boys raised their hands, waving a wide fan of bills in each. They hollered to the dancer, “Hey! Hey, yo – Mr. Tightie Whities! Over here, dude! This guy wants a lap dance! This guy right here!” 

Jesse's blood went ice cold. He reflexively tried to make a break for it but his friends quickly got a firm grip on his scrawny arms and held him in place. The dancer looked down at them through his sunglasses and Jesse went limp under his blank, dark gaze, panting raggedly. The man suddenly dropped down off the stage and purposefully approached their table. 

A flutter of green piled up in Jesse's lap as his friends swiftly filled it with the cash they had been waving. They cheered and high-fived each other as the mysterious man confidently entered Jesse's personal space. Jesse nervously brought his beer back up to his lips and absently sucked at the rim, going a little cross-eyed as the man got totally all up in his face. 

The dancer took the beer out of Jesse's hand and set it aside before he took a hold of the back of his chair and began to dance for him. The fabric of his underwear grazed the mess of bills in Jesse's lap as he rolled his hips against Jesse's. Jesse's entire body was buzzing and throbbing so much that he could barely move. He sluggishly reached down with both hands and slid a few Benjamins in under the waistband of the dancer's underwear. The back of his hands rubbed against the hair of the man's soft belly as he put the money in and Jesse let his hands linger there, his fingertips resting just barely beneath the oscillating band. He looked up into those black as carbon sunglasses and saw his own face being reflected back at him twice. The man's movements slowed down and he frowned deeply.

“Pinkman?” the dancer breathed uncertainly. Jesse's eyes flew wide open in horror as vivid memories of his high school chemistry teacher came flooding back to him... How distractingly hot he had been – Making it so hard for Jesse to pay attention to the actual lessons he was trying to teach. He recalled several lewd drawings that he had doodled which depicted said teacher pleasuring himself with chemistry equipment and blushed as he felt his dick getting harder.  
“Fuck! Holy shit – Mr. White? What happened, yo? Why are you - ” Jesse gasped, quickly pulling his hands back out of the man's underwear before he accidentally reached down deeper into them instead like he secretly wanted to. His heart was thundering. Mr. White backed away shakily, clasping a hand over his mouth. He turned away and retreated backstage, leaving Jesse sitting there cold and stunned, with a small mountain of money still topping his boner tent. 

“What was that about?” Badger asked incredulously. Jesse slowly turned back toward his friends, still completely dazed. He stiffly took all the money out of his lap and put it onto the table so they could return it to their own pockets. 

“Was that for real Mr. White? Shit. He looks really different,” Skinny Pete said. Realization dawned on Badger and he rushed to apologize to Jesse for getting him into this. “Shit! Dude! I am so sorry! I had no idea!”

“Chill out, bro – None of us did! It's not your fault,” Combo said, putting a hand on Badger's arm as he tried to calm him down. Badger stopped fussing but he still looked hella' worried. Jesse had finally regained his bearings somewhat and couldn't stand to see that look on Badger's face so he finally managed to speak up.

“Yeah, no, it's no big deal, yo. I mean it's just like – What the fuck? You know?” Jesse eloquently explained. Everyone around the table nodded in solemn understanding. Jesse reached out to reclaim his beer and they were all gradually able to relax again. A few more performers danced but none of them really held Jesse's attention the way that Mr. White had. The more Jesse drank, the more he fantasized about Mr. White dancing for him again... and this time, not stopping when he realized who he was. 

A gentle touch on his shoulder brought Jesse out of his reverie. He looked up to see Mr. White standing beside him with a bare bald head and regular glasses on. He was dressed in khakis and a casual tee but Jesse could no longer un-see what he now knew was hidden beneath his clothes and he shifted awkwardly in his seat.

“Jesse – May I talk to you, please? In private?” Mr. White asked, tilting his head to one side beseechingly. Jesse blinked up at him for a moment and then nodded and stood up on wobbly legs.

“Shhure, Mr. White. Uhm - Ok. Yo – Hey, I'll see you guys later,” Jesse said, following Mr. White out to the parking lot. His friends exchanged worried glances as the pair left.

Once they were outside, Jesse asked, giggling nervously, “So wasssup, Mr. White? Why - Why're you doing this crazy naked dancing stuff for?” 

“Why are you handing out hundred dollar bills to strippers, Jesse?” sighed Mr. White. “I need the money. I'm sick and I can't afford to pay for treatment with what I make as a teacher so I had to find some kind of second job that I could do at night. Lucky me! Looks like I found one where I could get enormous tips! So tell me, how are you earning so much money that you feel like you can just freely hand out all of this out to me?” Mr. White held up the hundreds that Jesse had given him, a vague sort of longing and jealous hysteria creeping in on the edges of his voice as he spoke. In response, Jesse burbled with laugher that he barely tried to repress and Mr. White scowled, already starting to regret his decision to ask Jesse what his secret was.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to dance cuz you're sick, Mr. White... But are you really sure you want to break bad with me?” Jesse asked, grinning like a goof. 

“What do you mean, Jesse?” Mr. White asked, taking a curious step closer to the intoxicated young man as green smoke began to billow up around them from the ground, filling the dark night sky. Several guitar chords played loudly in the Albuquerquean distance and then everything suddenly went black.

**Author's Note:**

> Written and read aloud for a fanfiction table read with friends. <3  
> It's not my usual (more graphically erotic) style but it was a blast to write and share some slash fiction that was more on the humorous side. :]


End file.
